Thinking Straight?

I'm tired and weary.
Fighting against unseen barriers,
those that can only be heard.
I Restrain my temper,
dragging out my patience.
Patience is unwilling and tired,
it wants to let anger run the show,
let it loose and let it grow.

I feel cold yet hopeful.
Is there a rekindling fire?
I am glad, yet I dread.
I walk on thin ice
when I want to run.
I don't want these boundaries,
these white picket fences.
Will I ever move on?

Today we celebrate
for so many reasons.
Yet, I have all the reasons,
but am not joyous or cheerful.
Too many other things
to worry about.
I should be praying.
I should be praising.
I should be...